Coast to Coast with Daphne Blake
by Dangerpro
Summary: It's Daphne's talk show! Which as always, things goes wrong.You can ask Daphne questions. She will gratefuly answer them. CROSSOVERS WITH MANY OTHER SHOWS.
1. First episode

**Coast to coat with DAPHNE BLAKE!**

Daphne: Hello and welcome to coast to coast! Today I'm with Captian Jack Sparrow!

(_Audience applauds as Jack walks on stage_)

Jack: Hello, luv, (_kiss Daphne on the hand_) I need a map.

Daphne: Why?

Jack: Because I'm lost in your eyes.

Daphne: Oh _brother_...

(_Sits down_)

Daphne: So you're into filming the forth film of pirates of the Caribbean?

Jack: Film? What are you talking about, woman!

Daphne: You're drunk, aren't you?

Jack: (t_ipsy_) rum, you want some? Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?

Daphne: Eeew, no! You smell!

Jack: I don't smell! (Sniffs) yeah, I guess I do.

Daphne: (_trying to remain calm_) Now for letters. Oh yeah... no letters. (_Grumbles_) Please send some letters in I would gratefully answer them!


	2. Halloween special part 1

Coast to coast the Halloween special.

_Today Daphne is (hiding) in the mystery machine (Captian Jack simply won't leave her alone) there are cobwebs and skeletons scattered around, lighted pumpkins are visible in the background._

Daphne: That's the last time I would interview a pirate. Dam those producers... Hello, and welcome to coast to coast the Halloween special. Today I'm with my old friends from mystery Inc!

(Two monsters enter the van)

Daphne: I said Mystery Inc NOT Monsters Inc!

Producer: Is there a difference?

Daphne: Yes! These are MONSTERS.

_After Daphne's angry swearing and consoled words, the gang comes in nervously to sit down on the large beanbags beside Daphne. Daphne is sitting; beside her is a bag full of letters. Dressed up as a corpse bride. The gang however, are dressed up as themselves. SCARY..._


	3. Halloween special part 2

**A/N**** Sorry my stupid computer keeps crashing, this is a late halloween special.**

* * *

_Sorry for the delay. Now we're back to Coast to coast with Daphne Blake. _

Daphne: Welcome back to our Halloween special.

Velma: Daphne, it's not Halloween anymore. That was yesterday!

Daphne: So? The viewers don't know that!

Velma: Now they do.

Daphne: You have to spoil everything!

Velma: Yes.

Shaggy: Like, great party last night! Hi mom! (Waves to the camera)

Scooby: Rhi! (Waves)

Daphne: Stop that! You two are making the cameraman dizzy!

Cameraman: Woah. (Topples over)

Daphne: No, he's just drunk. Why is everyone drunk on my show? Where do they get the booze?

Fred: Gee I don't know. (Shifty eyes)

Daphne: I guess that's one mystery we'll never solve... Okay onto letters!

_(Picks out a random letter, takes one look at it and throws it)_

Daphne: Fan boys... more fan boys... Johnny bravo's letter (cringe) I rather not remember him.

Flashback...

_The gang is in the hallway, looking for Johnny bravo's aunt._

Fred: Come on, gang, let's split up.

Johnny: Hold on for a second, mister. We're going after some creepy ghost person. And you want us to split up?

Fred: Well... yeah.

Johnny: (Rushes to Daphne) wanna get lost with me? I'll give you a Scooby snack. (Takes out a roasted dinner)

Daphne: (Stands on his foot)

End of flashback

Daphne: (rips up letter) Can someone burn this?

Fred: Daphne... perhaps that's going over the top.

Daphne: (Lights up letter from one of the candles) BURN! BWAHAHA!

Velma: Harsh.. Jinkies, look at this! (Hands a different letter to Daphne)

Daphne: (Blush)

Dear Daphne,  
What do you and Fred do when you split up together? Alone...?

-Natalie

Fred: We... look for clues!

Velma: You two NEVER seem to find any.

Scooby: RI saw Raphne and Red rissng.

Daphne: Thank goodness no one understands him...

Shaggy: Like, I do he said-

Fred: You want a Scooby snack?

Scooby and Shaggy: Yeah!

Fred: Then shut up!

**Dear Natalie,  
Many people ask me the same question. NOTHING happens, whatever you're thinking, it's not true. And you have no proof. HA! I simply go with him for company.  
Sincerely  
Daphne**

Velma: What about when you two were locked in the closet together?

Daphne: Zip it, Velma.

Shaggy: Or when you and Fred 'disappeared'?

Velma: Or when Fred got jealous on the beach in Australia?

Daphne: Fred was jealous?

(Every one turns to Fred)

Fred: urm... (Starts nervously reading the next letter)

Dear Daphne,  
Where's the gang? Did they ditch you or something? Or are they hanging around back stage. Anyway great show!  
From Jen :)

**Dear Jen,  
The gang didn't ditch me; I just needed a brake (if you can call this a brake).  
Happy not Halloween!  
Sincerely  
Daphne**

Daphne: That's all the time we got for this episode. See you next time! (waves)

Shaggy: ZOINKS! SCOOB, YOUR TAIL'S ON FIRE!

Scooby sniffs, seeing his tail on fire.

Scooby: RAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!

_Sorry, there are delays to this programme. Please enjoy this cat._

_HANG ON THERE KITTY! _


	4. Paris

Today Daphne and Fred are in Paris, the city of love. Fred is trying out some new hand cream for Daphne.

Fred: Wow, Daphne, you're right! My hands do feel smoother…

Daphne: Told you, Freddy, hand cream makes your skin softer.

Fred: And it's so strawberry. (Starts sniffing his hands)

Daphne: …(starting to be a little freaked out)

Fred: We're on air, aren't we? (Hides hand cream behind his back)

Daphne: Welcome back to another episode of Coast to coast.

We're in Paris, the city of love.

Fred: (starts playing with his new mobile phone.)

Daphne: I said, city of LOVE.

Fred: I'm in love.

Daphne: Really?

Fred: With this new phone! (Still playing with his new mobile)

Daphne: (clears her throat)

Fred: Daphne, it sounds like you've got a bad throat.

Daphne: FRED! (Snatches his phone off him)

Fred: Hey!

Daphne: First of all Velma, Shaggy and Scooby has 'gone'

Fred: Yes, they're 'gone'

_Faint thumping and muffled voices is heard from the closet. "Let us out!"_

Daphne: Ignore the thumping it's the-the monster!

Fred: Letters! (Grabs nearest letter, scans through it. Jaw hangs open)

Dear Daphne,

Are you SURE you and Fred don't do anything when you split up together? Because I've heard some rumors about you being pregnant...

-Molly

**Dear Molly,**

**Whoever started that rumour is a blubbering idiot. And when I get my hands on whoever started it I'll- I am SURE NOTHING HAPPENED! AND I'm not pregnant.**

**Fred and me are friends, and ignore my idiotic mindless friends and the thumping of the closet. They are taken care of.**

**Sincerely **

**Daphne**

**P.S. I'M NOT PREGNANT!**

Fred: I hate rumours…

Daphne: yeah me too. (Reads next letter)

Dear Daphne,  
Do you ever play the DID (Damsel In Distress) on PURPOSE? You know, just to give the bad guy the illusion of power... or something? How is it that with so many captors, none of them has yet succeeded in killing you? Are you immortal?  
--apikale

**Dear Apikale,**

**Yeah… sometimes I did. I always wondered why they never killed me. Perhaps I am immortal… I never really thought of that, I thought it was just luck.**

**Sincerely**

**A confused Daphne**

Daphne: Maybe I am IMMORTAL!

Fred: Daphne, calm down… you know what happened last time you gone crazy.

Daphne: Sorry, Fred. Every one on my show is driving me crazy.

Fred: I know. But no matter what happens we've got each other… because I-

_(Closet door brakes and Scooby, Shaggy and Velma falls out)_

Shaggy: Like, I'm starving!

Velma: You locked us in there!

Daphne: (ignores Velma) That's all the time we've got this episode! See you next time!


	5. The lie detector

_Today Daphne Blake is in her studios, (in Paris was a disaster) and with her is Fred, __together__… attached to a lie detector. (It was all Velma's idea, for locking them in the closet)_

Daphne: I HATE THIS SHOW!

Fred: I'm supposed to be a guest,

Producer: well, now you're a host with Daphne now.

Fred: That doesn't explain why we're attached to a lie detector

Daphne: This isn't in my contract!

Producer: We're making it more exciting. More excitement means more viewers. And Daphne, kid it is in your contract… right here. (He place a big magnifying glass against small print of the bottom of her contract)

**I agree of all terms, that I will do whatever the producers tell me to do.**

Daphne: How am I supposed to see that?

Producer: That's show business.

Fred: Don't tell me, we have to answer embarrassing and personal questions from our viewers on live television.

Producer: No, we were going to throw eggs at you two. But THAT'S a better idea!

Daphne: (shoots a mad look on Fred) Thanks a lot, Fred! You guys are a bunch of- (consoled words)

Producer: Can someone gag her, please? Maybe that would shut her up. No wonder those monsters gagged her...

Velma: (runs randomly on the camera screen) don't underestimate the power of Velma Dinkley!

Daphne: When this show finishes, I will get you Velma!

_If you want Daphne to die of embarrassment and are pure evil like me, send in those embarrassing and personal questions, people! Or Scooby will die..._

Scooby: Ru-oh (gulp)


	6. Answering your questions

It's what you all been waiting for... (Dramatic music) you've asked Daphne questions... NOW she and her boyfriend-

Daphne: He's not my boyfriend! (BEEP)

Is attached to a lie detector. Only for TV entertainment- actually it's the Internet, but you get the idea. Daphne and Fred face the studio audience. Also in the audience are Scooby, Shaggy and Velma grinning evilly.

Daphne: (Takes out a long piece of paper)

Fred: What's that?

Daphne: My hate list.

Fred: You have a hate list?

Daphne: Yes… (Writes on it) Scooby… Shaggy… Vel-ma

Fred: How many are on there?!

Daphne: Well… just everyone who ever been on this show.

Fred: (piers over her shoulder) am I on it?

Daphne: Maybe.

Fred: (snatches paper)

_Daphne's Hate list__ (the people I hate/annoys me/harass me/attempted murder)_

_Chucky  
Crazy Frog  
The Black Knight The Ghost clown  
Ghost Witchdoctor  
Ghosts of Franken Castle  
The Witch and Zombie of Swamp's End  
Witch Doctor  
All the monsters that kidnapped me  
The psycho  
Lena  
Marcie  
Mr Bobby  
Mary Poppins  
Miss Piggy  
Barbie  
Noddy  
Ned Flanders  
That guy on the news (the one with the wig)  
Paris Hilton  
Producers of this show  
Postman Pat  
Caption Jack Sparrow  
Johnny Bravo  
Scrappy Doo  
FredVelma shippers  
People who ask me personal questions  
Scooby Doo  
Shaggy  
Velma._

Fred: You hate Noddy?

Daphne: Yeah, he was annoying.

Fred: But I'm not on it.

Daphne: That's because I like you- as a friend. (BEEP)

Fred: (Grin) Lets get this over with. Who wants to ask us a question?

Daphne: Oh dear gods...

Hundreds of hands goes up, Daphne points to someone in the studio audience.

Melanie: Why'd you lock Velma, Shaggy, and Scooby in the closet?

Daphne: Closet? I didn't lock them in the closet…(BEEP) Okay! Maybe I did. They have done it to Fred and me on purpose! Anyway, there was breathing holes there.

(Points to another person)  
Dylan: What was that Fred was trying to tell you again? suspicious look  
I could of sworn I heard Scooby said you were kissing.

Daphne: What _were_ you going to tell me before the others came out of the closet in Paris?

Fred: I was… going to ask you for some change- for the snack machine! (BEEP)

Daphne: (sigh) Scooby was cleaning his behind at the time, (BEEP) so that must have confused you. No one really understands him.

Shaggy's skinny hand rose from the audience.

Fred: What?

Shaggy: Fred, like, do you eat Scooby snacks?

Fred: No. (BEEP)

Jane: This is a question for Fred; do you wear Daphne's dresses?

Fred: NO! (BEEP)

Daphne: I thought my dresses looked bigger! YOU WORN THEM?!

Fred: I didn't! (BEEP)

Blahblahblahhh: Have you and Fred ever done it?

Daphne: NO! (No beep, well at least she's telling the truth.)

Someone on the Street: Daphne, why aren't you at all like the Daphne I remember from my childhood? Are you a clone of some sort?

Daphne: I'm not a clone.

Fred: she just gets angry easily lately,

Daphne: Yeah- wait a minute, I don't get angry easily! (BEEP)

Fred: See?

Daphne: I'm just cranky because you never get kidnapped! You have no idea, to be kidnapped ALL the time. It's been so many times I lost count!

Fred: You count how many times you get kidnapped?

Daphne: (grumbles) (points) Yes, you.

Apikale: did you ever cheat on Fred?

Daphne: No of course not. Anyway, we're not going out! (BEEP)

Cameraman: Do you two love each other?

Daphne and Fred: NO!

The lie detector starts smoking, and exploded.

Shaggy: Dude...you broke it.

Velma: You both lied too much, which made it self-destruct.

Shaggy: Like, the poor machine.

Scooby: Reheehee

Daphne: Well, at least we hadn't have eggs thrown at us.

Random person: EVERY ONE TAKE OUT YOUR EGGS!

Daphne: Oh crud.


	7. An early christmas special

_COAST TO COAST WITH DAPHNE BLAKE Christmas special _

_Today Daphne Blake is interviewing Santa Claus! So remember kids be good!  
She, and Santa is sitting in front of a fire, eating fresh cookies with milk.  
(We bribed him with them) The fat guy is so busy that we have to interview him early... _

Santa: Ho ho ho hello!

Daphne: Hello Santa.

Fred: Hey, Daph, you wanna hear some Santa jokes?

Daphne: Urm Freddy...

WARNING EXTREMELY BAD CHRISTMAS JOKES!

Fred: Santa is so fat that the only thing stopping him from going to Weight Watchers is the doorway!

Santa: (frowns)

Fred: How would you fire Santa? _Give him the sack..._

Santa: (grits his teeth angrily)

Fred: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?_ You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit._

Daphne: Fred-

Fred: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?_ Because he had low elf esteem._

Daphne: (slaps fore head)

Santa: Thats it! No presents for you!

Fred: Santa?!

Santa: NEVER INSULT THE ELVES! (Face turns red with anger)

Fred: sorry...

Daphne: Anyway, Santa, how many letters do you get? Why don't you reply?

Santa: I get millions, I couldn't't reply to them all.

Daphne: Why do you advertise coke, Christmas has nothing to do with coke!

Santa: Well...

Fred: IS that beard real? It doesn't look real (reaches out to pull beard)

Santa: (holds his beard protectively)

Fred: How do you get down the chimney?

Santa: I use magic.

Fred and Daphne: Yeah, _right._

Santa: (takes out red dust from his pocket)

Daphne: What's that?

Fred: It's fairy dust, he's gonna makes us fly like Peter Pan.

Santa: No. (blows dust in Fred's and Daphne's face)

Fred and Daphne blinked, Fred sneezed (his allergies)

Fred: What was that suppose to do?

Santa: You'll see...

Daphne: (looks at Fred nervously) Onto letters...

Daphne,  
When did you figure out Fred was the one for you?  
Miranda

Daphne: I'll say it once and I'll say it again I- I realized I lo- (covers her mouth, her voice is muffled)

Fred: Daphne?

Santa: (grins) you two can only tell the truth.

Fred: I figured out I'm completely and totally in love with Daphne. (Covers his mouth)

_Fred looks nervously towards Daphne, but she's too busy shouting at the producers, and didn't hear Fred's confession (I know that sucks).  
Fred and Santa Claus is fighting across the small cosy room, Fred is trying to pull his beard off._

Fred: I bet its old man Smithers!

Daphne: No, it's probably Velma. Only she can wear a suit that unfashionable, and big.

Velma: Hey! I'm not that fat, and my clothes aren't unfashionable! (Where did she come from?!)

Random person: Daphne, what are you getting Fred for Christmas? -Shifty eyes-

Daphne: I can't tell you that it would ruin the surprise- I've got him a brand new watch, and a mistletoe- you didn't hear that!

Random person: Oh yes I did! (Runs away)

Fred and Santa knock over the Camera.

Please enjoy this song, you can sing along if you like!

I heard a reindeer hoof,  
then Santa dressed in red,  
came crashing thro' the roof  
and landed on my bed.  
I thought it was a dream,  
but quickly did I wake,  
as soon as I heard Santa scream,  
"I want a piece of cake!"

CHORUS  
Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus,  
you are much too fat;  
I was sleeping peacefully  
but now my bed is flat. Oh!  
Santa Claus, Santa Claus,  
how much do you weigh?  
I'm glad I'm not a reindeer  
that has to pull your sleigh!

He got up off the floor  
and said, "How do you do?"  
I said, "My back is sore,  
my head is black and blue."  
"So sorry!" he replied,  
and then he asked my name.  
He offered me a ride, I said,  
"No, thank you just the same!"

CHORUS  
Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus,  
you are much too fat;  
I was sleeping peacefully  
but now my bed is flat. Oh!  
Santa Claus, Santa Claus,  
how much do you weigh?  
I'm glad I'm not a reindeer  
that has to pull your sleigh!

I heard a "ho, ho, ho,"  
the sleigh was in the sky.  
but it was moving slow  
and wasn't very high.  
It wobbled in the air,  
I hoped it wouldn't fall;  
Said Santa, chewing cookies,  
"Merry Christmas, one and all!"

CHORUS  
Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus,  
you are much too fat;  
I was sleeping peacefully  
but now my bed is flat. Oh!  
Santa Claus, Santa Claus,  
how much do you weigh?  
I'm glad I'm not a reindeer  
that has to pull your sleigh!

Now back to the programme... (what programme?)

Velma is now attacking Santa,

Velma: Cruelty to animals! Making your poor raindeers pull you around the world on one night!

Fred is grinning happily with a white beard in his hand.

Fred: Told you it was fake.

Daphne: It wasn't.

Fred: ...Oh crap


	8. Relaxation

COAST TO COAST WITH DAPHNE BLAKE

_Daphne's relaxing in the pool, as Fred struggles to blow up Shaggy's float ring. __Scooby treats himself with a triple Decker sandwich, as Velma sits in the shade of a palm tree reading Twilight. The producer enters interrupting their relaxation._

Producer: Where have you been?

Shaggy: Well, this morning we went surfing… then we went for a bite to eat… later we-

Producer: No, No! Not that! The show! Coast to Coast hasn't aired since two years ago!

Daphne: Oh, that show… Nah, it wasn't my thing. Plus Tigress got lazy and didn't update.

Producer: Tigress? Who's she?

Velma: It doesn't matter. However, he's right. We've been neglecting our fans.

Fred: Yeah, we could at least answer their questions.

Producer: GREAT! Now lets get to it.

_Men enter carrying bursting bags of letters, tipping the letters into the pool. Daphne stares horrified as a tidal wave of fan mail came her way._

_She washes up to the steps of the pool, clutching four letters._

Daphne: Ah, my loyal loving- *stares at letter* disgusting deranged fans!

Fred: *sigh* What are they asking now?

**Dear Daphne,**

**Have you and Fred been "naughty"?**

**-Apikale**

Velma: Well yeah, they get up to naughty things all the time.

Fred and Daphne: VELMA!

Shaggy: What does she mean by naughty, Velma?

Velma: I'll tell you when you're older.

Scooby: Rehee hee hee!

Daphne: Well, Api- A- Api-ka-

Fred: Apikale.

Daphne: Yes, whatever we do or not has nothing to do with you. I'm not saying we do- because we don't- because if we do- I wouldn't tell- which is not true- because I don't do.

Velma: That wasn't a straight answer.

Daphne: *Snatches Twilight book from Velma and throws into the pool*

Velma: NO! JACOB! EDWARD! NOOOO! *Jumps in after book*

Daphne: Jeepers! That book is addicting… Okay onto the next letter.

Fred: This one's from Scooby girl- Ahem- "Fred, DO you like Daphne more than a friend?"

I do like Daphne. Very much, AS A FRIEND. More like a best friend. *Twitches*

Velma: *swims to shore, with her Twilight secure in her teeth*

Fred: She asks to Velma, "Do you have any pets?"

Velma: Sadly, no. But I had a couple of years ago… I had a goldfish called Sherlock… he died in a fire.

Fred: A fire? But he was a goldfish!

Velma: Yes, I know. And a good goldfish in fact.

Daphne: Aw, I'm sorry about that, Velma.

Velma: Shut up! I can't believe you thrown my book in the pool!

Daphne: It's for your own good.

Fred: Scooby girl asks Shaggy, " when is your Birthday, and do you have a middle name?"

Shaggy: *Blushes*Man, thanks for being interested, Scooby girl, my Birthday is in August.

Like, I have no middle name. Well, not any I know of…

Fred: Now the next question is ridiculous, "Scooby, do you hate Fred?"

All eyes turn to Scooby.

Scooby: Ro- oh re's ronto me.

Fred: Scooby, you don't hate me, do you?

Scooby: Raybe if you're rot rorcing rus ro re rait. Ren raybe ri rouldn't rate you.

Fred: I thought not, good Scooby! *Pats head*

Daphne: Okay, that's all, folks. NOW LEAVE US TO CONTINUE OUR RELAXATION.

**Next time, the gang will be discussing what they think about the new live action movie: Scooby Doo the beginning.**


	9. New movie

_In this special episode, we'll be sharing our views upon: Scooby Doo the beginning._

_Daphne's drinking some strong coffee, Fred is passing the time by playing with his phone, Shaggy is chatting to himself, Velma is reading Twilight. Scooby is some what missing…_

Daphne: Okay, first question. This was posted on a website by Dangerpro.

Velma: Oh God, another rant…

Daphne: She says- "FRED IS A BLONDE- NOT A BRUNETTE!!!!! ARRRRRRGH! THOSE DARN PRODUCERS!"

Fred: Hey, the actor who plays me may not WANT to have his hair dyed. Say lay off him.

Daphne: So, Dangerpro, it's time to get some therapy- HOLD ON. FRED ISN'T BLONDE IN THIS MOVIE?

Shaggy: Yeah, man. And also they barely put any money to make a computerised version of Scooby Doo. After all, like, it's stupid that they brought out two Hollywood live action movies- and then a crappy movie. You'd think by the improvement of technology, the graphics and visual quality of scooby would be better, right?

(Everyone stares at Shaggy)

Shaggy: (sigh) Like, I'm going to find Scooby…

Fred: Yeah, where IS Scooby?

Daphne: I thought he went for a walk.

Velma: He'll be back.

Daphne: Don't get me started with the shipping in this movie.

Velma: I know, apparently the Velma in this movie has a crush on Fred.

All: Ewww.

Fred: Hey! I'm not bad.

Velma: But I must admit, the acting wasn't too bad…

Daphne: It could be worse. In this movie HE could've been in : YEAH.

Shaggy: Do you hear something?

Velma: What?

_All of a sudden, a small ball of fur attacks the camera man, he screams for help as the creature yelped angrily._

Scrappy: PUPPPY POOOWWWEEEEEEER!

Fred: We spoke too soon.

Cameraman: OH GOD! GET IT OFF MEEEE!

Shaggy: Like, Scrappy, leave the poor guy alone!

Daphne: SCRAPPY! QUIT RUINING MY SHOW!

_Scrappy jumps on Daphne's knee and glared at her. Daphne cringes. A awful memory came to mind._

Daphne: EWWWW! HE'S GONNA PEE ON ME AGAIN!

Scrappy: You didn't invite me to your show. Or your Halloween party- or Christmas- or thanksgiving!

Velma: We thought you'd get the message-

Scrappy: Did the invites get lost in the post?

Velma: Apparently not.

Daphne: Scrappy. We received a letter from a fan… of yours.

Scrappy: OH REALLY?OH BOY! OH BOY!

Fred: Scrap, have you got anything to do with Scooby not being here?

Scrappy: No- CAN I SEE MY LETTER NOW?

Scooby limps in, dragging behind a computer.

Shaggy: ZOINKS! Scooby! What happened?

Scooby: Rhe fake rooby roo just reated re up.

Velma: Jinkies! Why?

Scooby: Row rould rhy know? Rhy ris rappy rere?

Daphne: Because he wanted to be on this show. Why do we still have this show, anyway? Who would watch this?

Scrappy: LEMME SEE MY LETTER- NOW! OR I'LL PEE ON YOU.

Daphne: Okay, okay, you little… A- hem.

Dear Daphne,As you can tell by my pin-name, I don't the mantle of your natural enemy: could you elaborate (before the dreaded urination incident) on what drove the puppy to the brink? Did years of being the bravest group member push him to the edge? PLEASE TELL ME!

- Scrappy-Fan92

Daphne: Oh yes, the story of Scrappy, I remember it well…

Scrappy: Hey! Hey! Let me tell my story! Me! Me! Me!

Velma: Shut up, Scrap.

_Fred straps a dog muzzle on Scrappy. I know I'm cruel in a fictional way… unless you think the fictional world is real… then don't let me burst your bubble. I'll let your psychiatrist do that. Or maybe I should lend you the number of my doctor, he's a very nice man. Though I no longer speak to him since he started playing the game "SIMS 3". Man, I miss him. He's always playing on that. I had the Sims 2 and my stupid sister broke it. SHE BROKE IT! SNAPPED THE FLIPPIN' DISC SHE DID! Oh… urm… continue._

Daphne: I guess it all started with Scrappy's nightmares, which drove him mad. After confronting such ghastly creatures of all sorts at such a young age, Scrappy then subconsciously began trusting them and did not at all fear. Until a monster caught him and stuffed in a small cage. Since then Scrappy experienced nightmares and became insane.

Shaggy: Wow… I never known…

Velma: Poor Scrappy...

Daphne: Jeepers, I feel guilty for being mean to him.

Scooby: Rhatever.

Fred: Go away Scrappy. And stay off our turf.

Scrappy: B- but!

Daphne: Eww, he peed on my new carpet!

Velma: Yeah, go away, you may have had bad experiences- and so what? Doesn't mean you had to try to KILL us at spooky island.

Shaggy: They are right, Scrappy. Like I'm sorry man.

Shaggy drags Scrappy from the leash and throws Scrappy out of the house.

Scrappy: *Knocks* HEEEEY! LEMME IN! THIS SHOW WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT ME! YOU'LL SEE! THIS IS ANIMAL CRUELTY!

_Next episode will be up soon… Unless I die… or couldn't be bothered to post anything._

**Tune in next time at Coast to Coast with Daphne Blake!**


	10. EMO

__

In this episode of Coast to coast, Daphne has decorated the studio black, everything is black, the chairs, the table, the rug, even the wall- of course it isn't a wall, it's made from thin wood to LOOK like a wall, you know coz it's really a studio. Actually, no, let me explain, lately, Daphne's been a little… experimental with her style. Daphne is wearing a black hoodie, with devil horns attached to the hood, she's wearing a thick amount of eye liner around her eyes and black nail varnish. She sat curled up in a chair, listening to heavy rock metal on her ipod.

Daphne: Hi. Welcome to the bleak world of mine… I'm so alone… in this lonesome world of nothingness…

Fred: Erm… Daphne? We're right here.

Daphne: …

Velma: Hey Daphne? You alright?

Daphne: Am I alright? (_She pulls out her ear-phones, and takes out a piece of paper in her pocket.)_ I'm going to read you a poem to explain my inner pain.

Shaggy: Oh no! NOT THE POEM AGAIN!

Fred: Why don't we read out fan mail, hmm? These might cheer you up-

__

Fred encouragingly pushes the sack of mail to Daphne, she stares at the sack. She slowly reaches out for a letter. She opens it, and stares.

Fred: Yes, read it.

Daphne: My god.

Fred: Oh no… Black mail.

Daphne: It says, dear blasted, mean, ugly Daphne...You will have Scrappy on the show and treated kindly by everyone or I come to your studio in person and give Johnny Bravo your phone number!

Daphne: …

Fred: She doesn't REALLY know where you are.

Daphne: Fred, this is a LETTER. SHE WROTE THE ADRESS.

Fred: …Oh yeah…

Velma: Johnny's comin' over? YEY!

Shaggy: Was he the dude with the big hair?

Scooby: Reah.

Daphne: Do you really think she knows my number?

Everyone:… No… (There seems to be a hesitant response)

Daphne: You guys don't know my number, do you?

Everyone: …

Daphne: Oh ****!

Velma: DAPHNE! QUIT BEIN' AN EMO FOR A SECOND AND HOST YOUR RUN DOWN SHOW.

Daphne: That's it! I'm reading' my poem!

Everyone: OH NO! NOT THE POEM!

Daphne: AHEM- I'm here soaking up regret in the air  
You died thinking I never did care  
I wish I would've made the right choices  
Now it's too late, but I hear the voices.. OH THE VOICES! THE VOICES!

They now are clear.

They speak of what could have beeen

What I could have seeen.

But it's too late.

This is my fate.

_Everyone stares blankly at Daphne. Even the producer is speechless._

Producer: That was…

Shaggy: Very…

Scrappy: CHEESY! THAT WAS THE WORSE POEM I'VE EVER HEARD!

Daphne: Scrappy! Where the hell did you come from? Didn't Fred put a muzzle on you?

Scrappy: I'm super strong, duh. I ripped it off!

Daphne: Whatever.

Scrappy: Aren't you angry?

Daphne Whatever.

Scrappy: What's wrong with Daphne?

Fred: You see Daphne's going through… a faze. Right, Daph?

Daphne; Whatever.

Shaggy: She'll be back to her old self in no time.

Daphne: Whatever.

Velma: Can you stop saying "Whatever"- oh look, she's plugged her ipod in again.

__

Velma pulled Daphne's earphones out, which is, you know, VERY painful. I mean, I caught the door with my earphones once, and it really hurt when I had my ears yanked out. Daphne didn't have the base earphones, you know, the sticky out ones, so they wouldn't really hurt much. But it's still painful though… urm… yeah… never mind…

Daphne: You don't understand my pain. No one understands me!

Fred: Oh great, here we go again.

Daphne: I've been through so much, I get captured countless times. Tormented mentally all these years of pain, anger, and everyone gets on my nerves. Sometimes I think my life and existence is simply for entertainment. I think our whole existence is because of a show named after THAT dog! (_She points at Scooby Doo.)_ And that we're constantly in the same loop, like we're sixteen forever, but we're not conscious of it. That we're constantly revamped through out time to keep our show popular.

Velma: Daphne. That's ridiculous.

Daphne: I know.

Fred: I really think you need a rest.

Daphne: Ew, Scrappy's peed on my carpet AGAIN!

__

Once again, everyone ganged up on Scrappy, tied a muzzle on him, stuffed him in a small cage, and threw him out the studio, before you could say "Scooby Doo, where are you?" Now I'm off, and might not update till next year. If someone asks for me to do another, I would. BUUUUT I'M LAZY. And I have to visit my doctor, lukily, he's not addicted to sims3 anymore. He's addicted to the nintendo wii. At least he's being healthy, exercising and stuff. Strange... an unhealthy doctor... Doctor.... *CRIES* NOOOO DOCTOR WHO! IMMA GONNA MISS DAVID TENNANT... oh yeah wrong fanfiction... forget that.

Daphne watches blankly, as Shaggy began to levitate and flew into the sun set. D:


	11. The Shaggy Show!

__

We return back to Coast to Coast with Daphne Blake, and she is (thankfully) dressed as herself. She sits happily on a pile of flowers, there's flowers everywhere, on the wall- which isn't a wall it's made from cardboard due to money shortages- on the floor, there were even flowers offset too. Seriously, I went to the toilet and they had a toilet seat covered with flowers- roses specifically. Who on earth covered the toilet seat with prickly roses? Yes, well, I think you get the point. Today, the rest of the gang are… missing…

Velma: We're under here!

__

The gang's heads pop out of the piles of flowers.

Fred: AH-CHOO! Ugh… my allergies…

Shaggy: Are these flowers editable? I'm so hungry, man.

_WHAT? They're still here? I mean, come on, this is Daphne's show, not the "Fred, Velma and Shaggy show" Oooo, now that's an good idea!_ _Scrap Coast to Coast Valentines special- it's now the Shaggy show!_

Daphne: WHAT? B- but this is my show! I've actually went through the trouble of ordering these flowers!

Producer: You heard the narrator, Shaggy IS second favourite character. Everybody loves Shaggy.

Shaggy: Zoinks, like, I don't know what to say…

Producer: We'll feed you.

Shaggy: YES! I'LL DO IT!

Producer: Good.

Daphne: What about me? People love me too!

Producer: I think it's time for the end of Coast to Coast. We're not getting enough views and … well, Shaggy's randomness is better.

Shaggy: Like, I'm sorry, Daph… You could guest star!

Daphne: Like Scooby Doo get a clue? I think not!

__

AAAND NOOOOOW IT'S THE SHAGGY SHOOOOOW!

Some peaceful music plays as Shaggy falls from the sky, using a parachute shaped as a duck he floats down. He bows as the audience cheers.

Shaggy: Hello! And welcome to the Shaggy show! Today I'll be interviewing Dracula- WHAT? DRACULA?

Dracula: Evening Shag-geh.

Shaggy: Hey Dracula… _(He sits furthest away from him as possible , which is hard, because he's sitting on the same sofa.)_

Dracula: How have you been lately, Shag-geh? Been barking up a few trees, eh, Shag-geh?

Shaggy: Like, don't make jokes about me turning into a were wolf! (_Scooby Doo and the ruluctant werewolf buy it now.)_

Dracula: Vut, I thought you liked trees? You are a hippy, eh, Shag-geh?

Shaggy: Yes, well… Could you at least pronounce my name right?

Dracula: What you mean, Shag-geh?

Shaggy: It's SHAG-GY.

Dracula: Shag-geh

Shaggy: Shaggy

Dracula: Shag-geh

Shaggy: No, like, don't say it slowly, say it quickly. It's Shaggy.

Dracula: Shag-geh

Shaggy: SHAGGY!

Dracula: SHAG- GEH.

Shaggy: SHAGGY!

Dracula: SHAG- GEH

Shaggy: SHAGGY!

Dracula: SHAG- GEH

Shaggy: SHAGGY!

Dracula: Norville.

__

Shaggy bent over to pull up his socks, only to realise he doesn't wear any socks. -__-


	12. Bold vs Glitter

_Ah. Shizzle my nizzle. It's the Shaggy show! BOOP- DE- DOOP- DOOP! BOW- DE -WOW- WOW- OOOOOO! Shaggy raises from the stage, smoke escapes from the walls. _

Shaggy: Like, welcome to the Shaggy show!

_The crowd cheers, some man throws his underwear to Shaggy. Shaggy bows to the audience. Seriously, why didn't I come up with the Shaggy show sooner? This is waaaaay better than Daphne's crappy show-_

Daphne: Oi! I am here you know!

_I'm sorry Daphne I didn't reali-_

Daphne: Yes you did. Miss Narrator, you used to be my friend!

_I still am, it's just-_

Daphne: You used to love me, and now you don't even write fan fictions or draw pictures of me anymore!

_Look, missy. I've moved on. I'm a Shaggy fan now. Let me introduce this show or I'll type something I'll regret. _

Daphne: Excuse me?

_I can type something like, "A piano fell on Daphne's head" or "Shaggy pulled Daphne into a passionate kis-"_

Daphne: Okay, okay! I'll be quiet.

_Good. Heh heh, I love being the goddess of the fan fiction world. Think about it, imagine that this is really happening. If this is real. And we are gods. Okay, right, back to the show. Shaggy sat on his sofa, ready to introduce his guest._

Shaggy: Today, I am going to interview Voldemort.

_Voldemort swept onto the stage in a puff of black evil smoke. Well I wouldn't say it's evil. Obviously, smoke can't BE evil. But my English teacher always told me to describe things, she said, "Your reader should die from description." I don't want to KILL my readers, I just want my story to sound good. I'm completely against killing and stuff. But I did kill a fly-_

Shaggy: Can you quit that!

_Oops sorry, I trailed off again. I really hate it when I do that. Anyhow, Voldemort sat grand fully on the sofa next to Shaggy. His face was pale, he had two slits in the centre of his face - I think that's his nose- and worn a black gown. But no shoes…. Hmmm._

Shaggy: H- hello Voldemort.

Voldemort: Evening.

Shaggy: So, how are you doing?

Voldemort: _(Stares)_

Shaggy: Um… How did you return to power, after being beaten up by a baby?

Voldemort: You're in no position to mock me, Muggle.

Shaggy: But, the producers confiscated your wand-

Voldemort: I am the greatest wizard that ever lived. I have power beyond a mere wand. Potter may have defeated me in the last book, but I shall raise again to claim back my ultimate power.

Shaggy: Yeah… Wait, you spoiled the ending for me! I wanted to watch it in the cinema!

Voldemort: Whatever.

Shaggy: How was you defeated?

Voldemort: (_Uncomfortable) _Uh…well…. Love.

Shaggy: Love?

Voldemort: Yes.

Shaggy: Whose love?

Voldemort: Your love.

_Shaggy begins to feel REALLY uncomfortable sitting next to Voldemort. Who was eying Shaggy up and down. Oh yeah new shipping: Sholdemort. So gonna happen. To break the sexy tension, Shaggy brought in Edward. Yes, Velma, from Twilight. Velma screams from the top of her voice along with the other Edward fan girls. Team Edward! Ah jeez. I hate being a goddess now. Edward sits down between Shaggy and Voldy. I like calling him Voldy, sounds like boldy. Boldy Voldy. Heh heh._

Edward: Hello.

Shaggy: Like, hi. So how are you and Bella.

Edward: We're good.

Shaggy: Really?

Edward: Yes.

Shaggy: Oh.

Edward: Hm.

_Velma seems to have gotten passed the security and rushed towards Edward. She sandwiched herself between Edward and Voldy. _

Velma: Heeeey, Edwaaard.

Edward: Hmm, hi…. mm

Velma: Will you marry me?

Edward: Urmm…. No.

Shaggy: So, Edward, what's you're opinion towards Team Jacob.

Edward: It sucks balls.

Shaggy: Urm… was he allowed to say that?

Velma: Edward, why do you like Bella? She's lame, and boring, and has no emotions.

Edward: I… dunno…I like her…she's Bella.

Shaggy: Why do you glitter, Ed, and how come you have no fangs? You're like, a… well…

Edward: What?

Shaggy: Well, a gay vampire.

Edward: I am not gay.

Voldemort: Wait a second. I KNOW YOU!

Edward: _(GASP!)_

Voldemort: I killed you in the graveyard! You're… uh… hmmm…Ced… Cedric!

_In an instant, Edward and Voldy had a sexy battle between one another. Voldemort pulled out his wand. (Another sexy wand) and zapped Edward with it. Tables smashed, people screamed. Fan girls cheered. Shaggy ran up to Scooby, who was revving up the engine of the mystery machine bike (yes they have a MOTOR BIKE) and rode off._

_Velma was killed. Nah only kiddin'! I can't kill Velma! I'd get kidnapped by the secrete police if I did. Velma was protected be Fred's massive head by the blast of Voldy's wand. So Fred was killed. D: that's my expression. Even though my face doesn't look like two dots and a "D". _


	13. Zombie Fred

_Today's show has been cancelled due to the unfortunate death of Fredrick Herman Jones. (Good lord, what a horrid name.) Seriously, this isn't a joke THAT'S IS his name._

_Everyone is at Fred's funeral. White flowers circled his coffin, Fred's parents. Peggy and Skip Jones, (yet again, horrid names) sobbed over the lost of their son. So soon taken away from our world, and into the great beyond. Daphne sat on the first row amongst with Fred's parents and Velma, uncontrollably crying into her frilly handkerchief . Velma was playing her New Nintendo DSI, she took pictures of the wonderful funeral service. Such as editing pictures and videoing the funeral. Shaggy was helping himself to the buffet._

_Yes, yes, I know. I know. But Fred's DEAD people. I might be a fan fiction Goddess, but I can't bring characters back from the dead. That would be cheesy and unexplainable. Have you read my other fan fictions? If you did, you would know, I like killing characters. Death, death, angst, angst. Nothing wrong in that. Unless I get sued for killing Hannah-Barbara's most (not so) loved character. __On the plus side- there's one less mouth to feed and there's LOADS of room in the mystery machine now-_

Daphne: WILL YOU SHUT UP!

_Everyone stares at Daphne, thinking to themselves. "What the hell is she on about?" Daphne pointed to the sky - to me- in defence. But I'm just an voice that only Daphne can hear. It's so great being me._

Daphne: It was the narrator! She's always talking and disrespecting Fred. She killed him!

_Hey! Hey! Don't blame me for your toy boy dying. Voldy killed him. Not me. I rather liked Fred, even though 85% of Scooby Doo fans hated him._

Daphne: Shut up! Shut up!

_At that moment Fred's coffin opened, Fred rose up to look at Daphne. Everyone screamed and ran away- including Fred's parents._

Fred: Do you mind? I trying to have some sleep here.

Daphne: (_Crying with happiness) _You're alive!

Fred: Why did everyone assumed I'm dead? I was sleeping.

_Ah, drat. The power of love brought him back. Who knew that LOVE is the answer to everything. "Hey, narrator, I'm in debt." Don't worry LOVE will solve it! "Hey, narrator, my girlfriend's cheating on me." Don't worry LOVE will solve it. "Hey narrator, I can't find a decent job. So I can't pay the rent." Don't worr- what? I hate stories that involve LOVE. Ugh...love...ew_

_Fred stepped out and ran towards Daphne- __**insert romantic scene here- **__and flicked Velma on the nose. Oblivious Shaggy turned around to see the coffin wide open and Fred just about to eat Daphne and Velma's brains. He dropped his plate of food- which Scooby gobbled all up. Shaggy's expression turned dark._

Shaggy: Not on my watch.

_Shaggy grabbed hold of a conveniently placed brush. He twirled it around his fingers, like you see in a samurai movie and ran towards Fred. Thinking he was a brain-eating zombie. He would do anything to save his friends- no, actually he just wanted to hit Fred over the head, zombie or not. _

Fred: YOUCH!

Shaggy: Take that, zombie Fred!

Fred: S-shaggy! Stop! I- I'm not a-

Shaggy: The dead should stay dead, now DIE!

Fred: SHAGGY!

_Oh so much fun. Fred's such an dummy. Shaggy makes a good samurai. Suddenly Sam and Dean Winchester burst in. Along with Castiel. Dudes. If you haven't watched "Supernatural" watch it right now. Go on. Then continue reading._

Dean: Ah ****. Another zombie. Cas, have you got my burger?

Castiel: No. I ate it.

Dean: ****

Sam: Shouldn't we be trying to bring down the devil instead of fighting off zombies. I mean, I don't think appearing in a Scooby Doo fan fiction will help.

Dean: I just wanted to see Daphne.

_Dean had a little childhood obsession of Daphne. During the years when he was left alone with Sam and his dad fought off evil creatures, Dean would watch Scooby doo. Finally, after fifteen years of being a faithful Scooby Doo fan, he got the chance to meet her. He rushed up to Daphne to kiss her on the hand, Daphne blushed. Fred is still trying to fight Shaggy off._

Castiel: I believe Sam is right, Dean. We should go.

_Before Dean could use any of his pickup lines on Daphne, Castiel used his sexy angel powers to poof them somewhere else. Probably in some rundown hotel room. _

Daphne: That was weird.

Velma: What? What happened?

_The whole time, Velma was preoccupied with her Nintendo DSI. Silly Velma. Meanwhile Fred managed to escape from Shaggy and hid underneath a table. Shaggy lowered his brush, finally realising he WASN'T a brain-eating zombie._

Shaggy: Oh, Fred. It IS you. Like, my bad.

Fred: It's okay, Shag…

Daphne: Guys, in the next episode. Can we just interview someone who isn't dangerous?

Velma: That's up to the producer and the narrator.

_For the next episode, YOU get the choice of who Shaggy should interview. It can only be a fictional character (and a dangerous one.) GO ON! SEND IN YOUR CHARACTERS!_


	14. Special guest!

_WOOHOO! Today's episode we interview a special guest star - chosen by you! _

_The stage lights up, the crowd roars as the sliding doors slowly opened. Smoke escaped from the doors as a dark shadow slowly came into view. As the smoke cleared, the guest star stepped into the light._

_The cheering stopped. _

_Empty silence stretched throughout the audience._

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: H- hello.

_There was no sound, except the distant sound of crickets outside the studios._

_Doofenshmirtz forced on a nervous smile to the glaring audience. Luckily, Shaggy came out of the sliding doors before they decided to throw food. As all eyes turned to the hippy, the audience erupted with applause. Shaggy humbly bowed to his audience. As the clapping died, Shaggy and Dr Doofenshmirtz sat on the sofa._

Shaggy: How are you Doctor Doofen- Doofus- Doof- Doofensh-

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: It'z Doofenshmirtz.

Shaggy: Yeah… So, any evil plans foiled lately?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Z'well I wouldn't zay foiled.

Shaggy: Like, why would you say that?

_Suddenly, a gigantic contraption rose from the centre of the stage. The audience was strapped firmly in their seats, including Shaggy on the sofa. Doofenshmirtz got up, brushing bits of fluff off his lab coat. _

Doofenshmirtz: You weren't expecting zat, were you?

Shaggy: Like, how did you got that pass security?

Doofenshmirtz: I disguised it az a basket of muffins, no one expected a thing.

_He stood before the audience, chuckling evilly._

Doofenshmirtz: Now, this isn't the Shaggy show anymore. It's the Doofenshmirtz show!

_GASP! As the writer of this fan fiction I must stop this! I won't let a Disney character get mixed up with Cartoon network characters!_

Doofenshmirtz: It's too late, Narrator! I have already started the 'Showinator'!

Shaggy: Who are you talking to? And what's the 'Showinator'?

Doofenshmirtz: It's my invention to ZAP people to love me and my new show!

_Doofenshmirtz pulled out a remote and pressed a red button, the machine pointed to Fred, who was sitting strapped to the chair. Heh heh heh._

Fred: Ah, poop.

_There was a flash of green light escaping from the machine, hitting Fred squarely in the chest. When everyone opened their eyes again, they saw that Fred was wearing an Lab coat and geeky glasses. Somewhere far away, Daphne felt her woman's intuition tingle wildly. Back at the studio, Fred's eyes slowly opened, locking onto Doofenshmirtz before him. _

Fred: Oh my gosh. It's you! I love you on Phineas and Ferb!

Doofenshmirtz: Why, thank you.

Fred: I'm your BIGGEST fan. I have pictures of you and everything!

Doofenshmirtz: Okay… that's a lil' creepy…

_There was a blast through the wall, Doofenshmirtz twirled to see a figure walk through the showering of bricks._

Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus!

Perry: Prr-rrr- rrr- rrr

Doofenshmirtz: This is so unexpected! Oh well, I'm still have my show, and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

_While Doofenshmirtz was rambling, Perry reversed the machine and zapped Fred. He returned back to normal. Darn you, Disney. _

_I'm wondering. Is it wrong to ship Doofenshmirtz/Perry? I know Dr Doof is human and Perry is an animal but I think they make a good couple… Uh… should've kept that to myself. Perry finally finished tying Dr Doofenshmirtz up and turned to salute to Shaggy before mysteriously disappearing into the night._

Shaggy: Like, that was… random…

Doofenshmirtz: Drats. Curse you Perry the Platypus! Curse yoooooou!

Velma: Hey guys, have I missed anything?

Fred: No. Not much, just that Shaggy's show was taken over by a mad scientist, I was turned into a fan boy and the Narrator is now a Doofenshmirtz and Perry shipper.

Velma: That sounds boring, wanna hear where I've been?

Fred: NO.

_And so everyone went home. LE GASP! NO SCOOBY OR DAPHNE IN THIS EPISODE! D: _


	15. Shaggy's belt

_Welcome to the Shaggy SHOW! Shaggy moonwalks onto the stage, as got to the middle he bowed to the audience. Today he was wearing his disco belt, which had a disco ball on and shone laser beams out. It was very cool, very cool indeed. You know what's not related to Shaggy's belt? The Shinning, Stephen King's film. The shinning is the best film ever. I love Jack Nicholson. He's my favourite actor ever. I liked him as the crazy Jack Torrance. So today, lets interview hiiim!_

Shaggy: Narrator, you sure that's a good idea? He IS a psychopath.

_Yeah, isn't everyone on this show a psycho? My friend has a neighbour who carries a chainsaw round. (This is true.) Once in the middle of the night he just started sawing down a fence for no apparent reason, another time he was arrested for chasing a kid down the road with a-_

Shaggy: Uh, like, could we interview someone else… please?

_Sigh. Fine, okay, Shaggy who do YOU want to interview? _

Shaggy: Hmmm…. How about-

_Too late! Let the psychopath in! _

_Normally, the doors slide slowly open to reveal the guest. Except impatient Jack used his axe to make his own entrance. Shaggy stood horrified on the spot, wondering why he agreed to host this show. Then he remembered. They fed him. Jack pressed his face through the door, grinning insanely. _

Jack: Heeeeere's Johnny!

Shaggy: But… your name's Jack.

Jack: Shut up.

_Yeah, Shaggy, Shut up. If he says his name's Johnny, it's Johnny._

Jack: Thank you, Miss Narrator, I like you. I'll kill you last.

Shaggy: Some one, anyone, help!

Daphne: I'm back!

Shaggy: Yey! I'M SAVED!

Daphne: Huh? Wha? Oh… I'm not here to save you, I'm here to get my purse. I left it here the other day.

Jack: Oh, go right ahead, Missy.

_Daphne skipped passed Jack and to the back of the stage. She rummaged through the stuff at back stage and finally said "Aha!" She thanked Jack for his hospitality and left. Jack turned back to Shaggy._

Jack: Now, you… I'm gonna chop you all up.

Shaggy: Scooby Doo Where are you?

Scooby Doo: Rover rhere Raggy.

_Scooby was (unhelpfully) hidden under a chair in the audience. The audience, however, was gone. Stuck with fear, they retreated outside the studios. _

Shaggy: Great. You're really helpful, Scooby. You hide under a chair just when I'm about to be turned into mince meat!

Scooby: Mmm, Reat…

_Jack sent an axe flying towards Shaggy's head. When suddenly a book blocked the axe from slicing Shaggy in two. Shaggy looked up to see him. It was Snape. Yes. Severus Snape from Harry Potter. Standing tall with his big hooked nose. Oooo sexy beast._

Snape: Evening, Muggles.

_Jack swung his axe towards Snape, who simply flicked his wand to send Jack flying back and crashing into the audience. He was knocked out cold. _

**_Stephen King: 0 _**

**_J.K. Rowling: 1_**

Shaggy: You… saved me.

Snape: Silence, Muggle.

_NEW SHIPPING! Shaggy/Snape I shall call it Shape or Snaggy-_

Snape: You dissssguuussst me, Narrator.

Shaggy: Yeah, quit pairing me with every guest I have!

_Sheesh, like, sooor-ry! I'm just trying to give you a little push in the right direction._

Shaggy: Hold the phone, why are you pairing me up with guys? I'm straight!

_Well, all I have to say is this: Elton John. That is all._

Shaggy: Ugh, like, I still have a few minutes left, and no one to interview. Snape, would you-

Snape: Certainly not. I have better things to do… wait… I'm dead, actually no I don't.

Shaggy: Well… Could I interview you?

Snape: Fine.

_Hey folks, for the next episode, you get to interview Severus Snape! Send in Questions! Or underwear! Or sexual pictures of Voldemort- Hurr hurr._


	16. My Cold

_Snape and Shaggy were sat down a round pink table. Snape was sipping from a cute flowery cup, from Daphne's tea set. Yeah, they stole it. There were muffins and __tartes avec des bonbons et des chocolats._

Snape: This tea is… satisfying, muggle.

Shaggy: Thanks! Though, I don't drink tea at all. I thought you'd like it.

Snape: Are you saying that because I'm British you assume I like tea.

Shaggy: B-but you're drinking it-

Snape: Not EVERY British person likes tea!

_J'aime le thé._

Snape: What in the name of Dumbledore is going on?

Shaggy: Oh, yeah. That's French.

_Ah l 'ananas doux Je me sens comme une poire. _

Snape: Why is she speaking French?

Shaggy: She's sick, when she's sick she speaks a different language. I don't really know why, but nothing's ever explained in this fan fiction. Do you know what she's saying?

Snape: She said, "Ah, sweet pineapples I feel like a pear."

Shaggy: Really? But that doesn't make any sense…

Snape: This is ridiculous, I'm leaving. Your Narrator speaks terrible French.

Shaggy: But what about the interview?

Snape: Oh that… I changed my mind.

_With a poof of pink smoke, Snape disappeared. Shaggy stood up to notice that Jack was still unconscious. Shaggy slowly backed away. He looked over to look at Scooby, who jumped on the stage to join him. Oh look! I'm speaking Anglais ... Tant pis…._

Shaggy: Like, it looks like we're having a day off, 'ey Scoob?

Scooby: Reah! Rank roodness.

Daphne: I'm reclaiming my show!

_Gasp! Oh mon dieu, c'est Daphné!_

Daphne: Why is Miss Narrator speaking French?

Shaggy: She's sick with the floo.

_Et il est horrible. Je voudrais pouvoir consulter un médecin, mais il est trop occupé à jouer sur ses jeux Nintendo stupide._

Daphne: Okay. I didn't get a word of that.

Shaggy: Me neither… Where were we? You wanting to claim back your show?

Daphne: Yes, give me it back.

Shaggy: NO.

Daphne: And why not? You stole it off me.

_-Sniff- Actually, I suggested to the director that- _

Daphne: YOU!

_Moi?_

Daphne: Yes! This is all your fault!

_I don't understand why your acting this way, Daphne, I thought you hated this show._

Daphne: I did… except I… I missed you.

_Er… Hm… That's awkward… _

Daphne: What?

_That sounds sort of… Lesbian… don't you think? _

Daphne: That's it! I'm starting a new show! A show with no stupid Narrator!

_Non, non, Daphné!_

Daphne: It's too late. I'm never going to be in your fan fiction ever again!

_Daphne marched out of the studios. As she swung the doors open, she knocked Scrappy over. She didn't apologize, because- come on- it's Scrappy. Shaggy stared up at the ceiling. At me. But he can't really see me, because I'm actually invisible. I'm a giant floating head that floats around the studio ceiling. _

Shaggy: Why did you do that? Like, you've really upset her now!

_Whatever, I'll just send her a bunch of flowers and pictures of Fred, then she'll be fine. Oooo sexy Fred- Uh no, Fred's disgusting. Ew. Not sexy at all._

Shaggy: You find Voldemort and Snape attractive- but not Fred?

_Yeah. Fred's just- ugh._

Shaggy: You're weird. Really, really weird.

Scooby: All rell, rets reat!

_So Scooby and Shaggy headed backstage to eat the food supplied for them. They got fat. So fat that their belly-button's popped out. I really hope this cold of mine goes, I hate it, ugh. Well, guys, I'm off to college. I won't be updating for a while, because I am going to be REALLY busy. Au revoir._


	17. Villains

_I feel angry, very angry that I've did such a crappy chapter previously. I hate to disappoint people._

_So I shall make it up to you all. By this. Wrestling! Yes! On the right corner, weighing seven pounds and has one hell of a nice pair of glasses iiiis the Dinkle-nator!_

Velma: What? Huh? How did I get here?

_Ooooon the left corner, weighing eleven pounds and has the most awful scarf I have ever seen iiiis the Blondie- Bondie!_

Fred: It's an ascot! An ascot!

_Shaggy shuffled to the centre of the wrestling ring. He was wearing a chequered black and white shirt. Velma was wearing a red and orange wrestling suit, along with a mask and glasses. Fred was wearing a nice pink suit along with an orange scarf and tights, chosen and made by yours truly._

Velma: You.

Fred: Who, me?

Velma: You're going down. Down town.

Fred: But I just been to town.

Shaggy: Right. I want a clean match. So play nicely.

_As the bell went 'ring-ding' Velma ran head first into Fred, Fred jumped out of the way just in time. Velma bounced off the ropes. It was like a game of pin-ball, Velma bounced crazily around the ring. Shaggy retreated to the outside of the ring, trembling like an old woman at a cold bus stop bench. Ooo simile. _

Fred: Velma, I don't want to hurt you-

_Velma punched Fred in the jaw. Fred fell backwards. ONE. TWO. THREE- Oh look he's back up again._

Fred: That's it, Dinkley, you are dead.

Velma: Eeep.

_Meanwhile, back at Blakes Manor. Daphne plan to kill me. Shush. She doesn't know I'm here. Tee hee. _

Snape: That should do it. Just spike her drink and she'll drop dead like a fly.

Daphne: Oh thank you. Wait, I don't want her dead. Just sleeping.

Snape: Hmm… that's what I said… sleeping potion…

Daphne: Never mind. I'd go and ask some guy called Sylar. He's nice, and he said he'll get her off my show for free.

Snape: Whatever. I'll take my business else where.

_Oh crud. That's not good. I think I'll evaporate into the ceiling before she-_

Daphne: Ah- ha! I knew you were there!

_Daphne pressed a button to drop a cage down on me. A bunch of villains jumped out of the closet. There was Sylar, Dark vader, Mr Burns, the Joker, the Master, Invader Zim, Mr Crocker and Santa. _

Daphne: So, what have you got to say, Tigriss?

_Can I have your autographs? Please? _

Dark Vader: No.

_-Insert my sad face here-_

_Back at the wrestling match, Velma was holding Fred down, twisting his leg painfully. _

Velma: Do you give up, yet?

Fred: Yes! Yes! Have mercy!

_Shaggy counted to ten as Fred laid half dead on the floor. The audience roared Velma's name as she lifted up the golden belt proudly. Now, back to my cage. And my magical fictional power is fading. Oh no!_

Daphne: Oh look I'm beginning to see her… she has a big head.

Zim: Just like the human worm. Dib. Urrrgh, I hate the humans.

Master: I hate humans too, lets be friends and destroy all humanity.

Joker: Lets have a PARTY.

Master: Oh, and we'll play scissor sisters. I love that band.

Zim: Indeed, I enjoy human music too. I think we'll split Earth up between us-

_Ooo! Can I join in?_

Master: No.

_-Insert even sadder face here-_

Sylar: I call dips on Australia.

Santa: Damn. I wanted Australia.

Dark Vader: Now, Sylar, that wasn't fair-

Sylar: Shut up, you aren't my dad.

Dark Vader: I am your father.

Mr Crocker: FAIRIES!

Daphne: Guys! Why are you all obsessed on killing all humans?

Mr Burns: I don't, I'm just here for the entertainment.

Mr Crocker: I just want to capture fairies.

Daphne: Well, do it in your own time. Right now, I want you to take care of this floating head… thing.

_Oi! I don't insult your hair!_

Daphne: My hair? What's wrong with it?

_What's RIGHT with it?_

Daphne: Oh, whatever. Anyway, guys-

Villains: Yeees?

Daphne: Don't break anything…

_Daphne turned her heel and headed out the door, the villains turned to me._

Master: So… your floating… what are you? What species are you?

_I'm a human from a parallel universe, where all of you are fictional characters and I'm a fan typing stories on my laptop._

_The villains burst out laughing at my answer, which made me feel sad. Sadder than an half eaten piece of chocolate cake._

Zim: YOU LIIIIE!

Dark Vader: Tell us the truth. Oh I will use the force to make you to.

_I am telling the truth. Sheesh. I might as well as not talk to you guys. God I really need someone to save me right now. Perhaps the Doctor-_

Master: On vacation.

_Batman?_

Joker: He's having his suit dry cleaned.

_Hero? Claire? Bennet? Peter?_

Sylar: They're… busy at the moment.

_Cosmo? Wanda? Timmy?_

Mr Crocker: At School.

_Dib? Gaz?_

Zim: My show has been discontinued.

_Obi-Wan Kenobi? Luke?_

Dark Vader: Obi-Wan is dead. Luke is at counselling.

_HOMER?_

Mr Burns: You can't be serious.

_THE EASTER BUNNY?_

Santa: Now, you're being childish. The Easter bunny is hibernating. Duh.

_Oh WHO will save me? Boo-hoo._

Dark Vader: Don't cry.

_B-but… I'm all by myself… and I've got lots of homework and my new English teacher… is MEAN TO ME!_

Master: Stop it, I can't look at someone crying…

Zim: Snot is dribbling out of your nostrils. It's gross, human head.

Sylar: Please stop it. I might cry too.

Santa: Have a hanky, kiddo.

_Th-thanks…_

Master: I remember when I went to school… back at Gallifrey and the academy.

Dark Vader: Obi-Wan was so stern with me when I was learning to become a Jedi.

Zim: Yeah, it's all part of growing up. The Tall ones always kicked me until I did something right.

Mr Crocker: I'm stern on the pupils, because of what my teacher used to do to me.

Joker: I'm scared of clowns.

_Everyone turned to the Joker blankly. Because he IS a clown… which is really weird. Yet again, Batman is afraid of Bats. Crocker is afraid of fairies. Dark Vader is scared to look in the mirror._

Santa: Do you have to do that. Speak out loud?

_I'm a Narrator. I have to. Just like you guys have to be evil, which I respect._

Mr Burns: Really? You respect us?

_Yeah. Totally. You guys deserve a hug. If I had arms, I would hug you all._

Daphne: Right, guys, I'm back-

_Daphne walked in to see the group of bad guys crying like overgrown babies and the cage wide open. _

Daphne: Oh, GREAT! THAT'S JUST GREAT!


	18. Closet? House?

_Hello, Miss Narrator here, and I'm in hiding. Can't believe Daphne tried to gang up all of the bad guys to tie me down- she's definitely off my Christmas card list._

Fred: But why am I here? Where are we? It's really dark…

_You, my blond friend, are my shield. If Daphne finds us, I can use your FAT head to repel whatever she throws at me. _

Fred: I don't want to hurt Daphne- wait. My head isn't-

_No need to worry, I've got backup. _

Fred: Oh, that's good, where are they?

_I don't know… I'll have to Google it._

Fred: Google it? How can you "Google it"? You've got no fingers! YOU'RE JUST A FLOATING HEAD!

_No need to make fun of my condition…_

TELL me where are we?

_In a closet. _

Fred: Closet? That's it?

_Yeah, in Daphne's house, she'll never suspect we're in her closet. Okay… I've got back up._

Fred: That was quick. Okay, who is it?

_Hmmm… it's… mmm… Snoopy._

Fred: SNOOPY? Oh come on! He won't help us! He's lazy and… why Snoopy? Out of all the super heroes that could save us. You picked Snoopy. He's not even a supper hero!

_Well, I'm not gonna ask for Charlie Brown, am I? And _n_ot just Snoopy. Scooby, Droopy, Courage and Garfield are coming too. We're saved!_

Fred: You. Are an idiot.

_Suddenly the door opened. And there he was. Snoopy and his gang of dogs. Their glorious shadows cast across our faces looking extravagant in the shining light-_

Fred: They're not "glorious" or "extravagant".

_Snoopy clicked his paws to send Scooby forward to attack Fred with slobber_._ Garfield looked around uninterested and stalked off, Droopy sighed, and Courage was trembling because of the dark. Snoopy walked over, sat down on top of a shoe box and fell asleep. Mmm shoes… I wish I've got feet…_

_Daphne walked stood at the door of her open closet, her mouth hung open._

Daphne: WHY are you in my closet?

Fred: I'm sorry Daphne, I came here against my will.

_What? You wanted to come! Grrrr, that's it, I'm getting a better sidekick._

Daphne: Quick, grab her, Freddie!

Freddie: I have to make a trap first. I cant just GRAB her, can I?

Daphne: She's getting away! GET HER!

_I shot through her ceiling with a crash, leaving a large hole. Like a hole in the centre of an doughnut…man, my similes suck…_

Daphne: (sigh) That's gonna cost me.

_I fly through the air, singing 'I'm walking on sunshine' until suddenly I began falling. I crash into a hospital and onto a bed (convenient, isn't it?)_

Dr House: Hello… Giant head.

_Hello, who are you, wait. I know you, you're on that ADVERT._

Dr House: Advert? Um… I don't think-

_Yeah, yeah, that advert._

Dr House: I assure you - I am on no advert… unless it was on a pop up on a website…

_The grumpy man leaned over to look at my cuts. _

Dr House: Looks serious. We have to operate on you.

_No, no, I don't think I need- _

Dr House: No need to worry, head. I'm a doctor.

_Gregory House pulled on a pair of white gloves. His creepy tired blue eyes remained on me, like my cat does when he sees a bowl full of nibbles. MAN, WHY DOES MY SIMILIES SUCK IN THIS CHAPTER?_

_Suddenly Dean and Sam kicked the door down. I squealed in delight. Because Supernatural beats house- every time._

Dr House: The door was open.

Sam: Oh. Uh… sorry about that- we're the FBI.

_Sam and Dean flashed their fake IDs to Dr House._

Dr House: Those are fake.

Dean: How did you know?

Dr House: The head just said so. Now leave, I want to operate on this… thing.

_Dang. Where the hell's Castiel when you need him?_

Dean: Cas' is in heaven… curse that burger stealing son of a-

Sam: We need that head. She's dangerous, you have no idea what powers she holds.

Dr House: People do not have 'powers'. She's deformed, and I'm going to make her better. Now go before I call security.

_Guys, I'd LOVE to stay and chat… buuut I gotta go._

Dr House: No you're not. You're my patient and you're not leaving until I operate on you.

_Suddenly a van crashed through the wall. A voice screamed to me to "Get in the van" so I got in. _

Velma: Are you okay?

_No. _

Velma: That's good. At least you're okay.

_I rotate my head around the mystery machine. Seeing no Shaggy._

Velma: He's not here, because… he… argh…

_Yeah, I know. He broke up with you. I'm sorry that he chose Scooby over you, I mean, seriously he chose a DOG over you. I understand why, because Scooby has a shorter lifespan… and nicer lips…. And has nicer hair than you… nicer eyes… and has an better figure._

Velma: DO YOU WANT ME TO KILL YOU?


	19. Hitch hiking

_So there we were. Me and Velma against the world. A dust of sand blew into the air, along with the sound of heavy metal playing. Velma was wearing a dark pair of shades, she had a spare set for me- but my head was too big. It was like fitting a fat man in a pair of skinny jeans. _

Velma: Do you HAVE to narrate everything?

_Yeah, duh. The viewers won't know where we are if I don't._

Velma: Uh… what is that ringing? Wait, how did you get a phone call, you have no hands or pockets to answer a mobile with.

_It's hand held Velma. DUH._

Velma: Oh yeah.

_Oooo it's Axel!_

Velma: Who's Axel?

_A heart stealing spiky haired smart ass._

Velma: What?

_You know, Kingdom hearts character - he's my favourite._

Velma: You do remember this IS a Scooby Doo fan fiction.

_Heeeello? _

Axel: Hey, giant how's it hangin'?

_Oh the usual, people trying to kill me, how are you?_

Axel: Dead.

_Aw, man. But at least you have Roxas there. Right?_

Axel: Yeah… I suppose - Oh yeah, there's something reeeally important I need to tell you.

_There was static across the phone as he said the "reeeally important" thing._

Axel: -got it memorised?

_No, there was static- say it again._

Axel: Okay-

_Velma began singing the theme tune of Pokemon-_

Velma: Pokemon! Gotta catch 'em all- It's you and me… I know it's my destiny! Pokemon!Axel: -got it memorised?

_No- VELMA SHUT UP!_

Velma: Sorry.

_Axel, say it again._

Axel: This is the final time -

_The mystery machine went through a tunnel as he tried to tell me again._

Axel: -got it memorised?

_No-_

Axel: Ooo, Roxas has sea salt ice creams! Bye, heady!

_What? No! DON'T GO! SALT IS BAD FOR YOU! AND WHY THE HELL ARE YOU EATING SALT ICECREAMS?_

_Then he hung up. _

Velma: Oh dear. He hung up - ha.

_Shut up, Velma, have you got someone to talk to? Like a boyfriend- oh yeaaah you don't. HA! _

_Then Velma pushed on the brakes and kicked me out._

Velma: This is the last time I'm ever gonna help you!

_Then she drove off. _

_I then decided to hitch hike a car, then I immediately realised I had no thumbs. Because… you know, you need to stick a thumb out to hitch hike… which I don't have. To my surprise a car stopped, except I wasn't very happy to see the boy who unrolled the window. _

Harry Potter: You're not happy to see me?

_No. No I'm not. _

Harry: But I'm Harry Potter. You're a big fan of me.

_Yes I can see that… I think I'll wait for another car… perhaps with a psychopath driver…_

Harry: Hold on, why are you acting like I did something wrong?

_Hmm… lets see… you hurt Draco in the bathroom in Half blood prince… aaaand YOU KILLED VOLDEMORT! He was one smoking hot piece of ass and you freakin' killed him! AND you never appreciated poor Snape when he was alive! So those are two smoking' hot characters you killed. _

Harry: I didn't actually kill Snape-

_Well, theoretically you did!_

Harry: You are really disturbed.

_Drive on. I refuse to share a car with you._

_After a mumble, Harry rolled up his window and drove on. After an hour another car stopped. I crossed my fingers that it was a character I liked and it was…._

Jack Sparrow: Hello darling head.

_Jack? But you're a pirate! This is… are you drunk?_

Jack Sparrow: No…I'm sober.

_Cool! Lemme in. _

_I head butted the door a few times with no success of opening it. Jack leaned over and turned the handle to help me out. I squeezed in my large head and sat down. There were two other guys eating fish and chips at the back. _

Professor Layton: Evening, madam.

Luke: 'ello!

_Professor! Luke! Oh I love you two!_

Luke: Well, that's not creepy at all.

Layton: A gentleman doesn't mutter, Luke.

_And a gentleman opens a door for a lady- which neither of you did._

Layton: My apologies, madam.

_Also a gentleman would allow a lady to take his seat._

Layton: Well, there's-

_AND a gentleman would allow the lady to take his food._

Layton: But I haven't eaten since-

_NOM NOM NOM._

Layton: 'Nom' isn't a word.

_Neither is selimenical._

Luke: What?

_Exactly._

_I felt the hatred radiate on me from the two cockney puzzle lovers. I felt like an egg slowly sizzling in a pan. I began to think I should've jumped into Harry's car… there was more space… and less hate._

_Well. This was fun, Jack, stop here._

Jack Sparrow: I'm afraid not.

_Suddenly Jack PULLED his face off, revealing red her and a pretty face._

Luke: Chimney sweeps!

Layton: Cocks wallop!

_Clive's Nipples!_

_Then Luke and Layton looked at my disgustedly, and stepped silently out the car. I turned to Sparrow again._

_OH MY GOSH. YOU'RE A WOMAN!_

Daphne: No it's me. Daphne.

_Oh yeah… So you're gonna try and kill me again?_

_Daphne: Yep._

_SEE YOU NEXT TIME ON COAST TO COAST._


	20. END?

_Welcome back, faithful viewers, last time on Coast to Coast I hitchhiked a car! And In the car was Daphne in disguise! _

Daphne: They JUST read the last chapter, there's no need to-

_Can you take off that other mask?_

Daphne: That's my face…oh you little-

_Daphne reached out to strangle me. Fortunately, I have no neck._

Daphne: Snap! How am I going to kill you?

_Daphne… You know that we're in a car…._

Daphne: Yes.

_And that you're facing me… there must be another person driving… right?_

Daphne: I have good news and bad news.

_Ooo! Tell me the bad news!_

Daphne: There's no one driving.

_Oh… and the good news?_

Daphne: I'm going to die looking fabulous.

_Daphne… I'm sorry for being so mean.. I was going give back your job as presenter._

Daphne: That's ironic.

_Dramatic irony, actually._

Daphne: No I'm sure it's just ironic.

_Shut up you, who's da boss?_

Daphne: Not you.

_Oh. _

Daphne: I'm sorry for making that group about you on face book.

_Group? THAT WAS YOU?_

_Before I could bite Daphne, I noticed the car was skidding on and off the road._

Daphne: Oh no we're driving towards that cliff!

_That's odd... we were in a city before..._

Daphne: I'm too young to die!

_Daphne, believe in me._

Daphne: What?

_Believe in me, and that will get my fan fiction powers back!_

Daphne: O-okay.

_Daphne closed her eyes and began believing. I began glowing, feeling Daphne's belief flood through my body. I bit onto Daphne's sleeve-_

_Daphne: Ow! _

_And I transported us out of the car. Daphne opened her eyes to see that she was back in the studio._

Daphne: You… did it!

_Yeah… I did…._

_I was beginning to fade away like a dying flame. My life was extinguishing._

Daphne: What's happening?

_I've used up all my powers in this world… I'm returning back to my own world…_

Daphne: NO! You can't go now! I need you!

_I have no…choice… I'm sorry… I need you to do something for me…_

Daphne: Sure… anything.

_Please… punch Fred for me… _

Daphne: Yes. I will. Anything else?

_I want dark chocolate._

Daphne: What? No way!

_You have a packet in your pocket. Give me a piece._

Daphne: No.

_FEED MEEE!_

Daphne: I'm not-

_Ugh… I'm dyiiiiiing…_

_Then Doctor House and the Winchester brothers crashed in._

House: I will save her!

_He turned to Daphne._

House: She needs chocolate.

Daphne: No.

House: I'm a doctor. And this mutated head needs chocolate.

Daphne: Okay. Here, take it.

House: Looks like it's too late, she's dead.

_Ugggggggh… I'm dyiiiiing…. Want chocolate… and the new professor Layton game on the 3D DS…. But it's only available in Japan… Why wasn't I born in Japaaaaan?_

Daphne: sounds like she's alive to me.

House: No, I'm positive, she's dead.

Daphne: She's still breathing. And she's talking.

House: That's common in floating heads.

Daphne: How do you know if it's common? She's the ONLY floating head!

House: Look. When I say she's dead she's dead. Got that?

Daphne: Okay, okay, fine!

Sam: May we burn her?

Daphne: What? Why?

Dean: We like burning bodies.

Daphne: No!

_Booyaaaa! _

_I then faded into the ground._

Dean: That's just great. What am I going to do for entertainment, now?

_He smiled at Daphne, then she slapped him._

_I was back in reality- with a normal size head and a body._

"_Love, your dinner's ready!" Called my mum's voice from downstairs. I stopped typing my fan fiction story and yelled._

"_WHAT IS IT?"_

"_CANNED BEANS." she yelled back._

"_NO. I DON'T WANT BEANS."_

"_WELL, MAKE YOUR OWN DINNER YOU UNGRATEFUL CHILD."_

"_MAYBE I WILL!"_

"_GO AHEAD. I HOPE YOU CHOKE."_

"_I WILL. AND IT WILL BE GREAT. BECAUSE IT'LL BE DELICIOUS ."_

"_GOOD."_

"_LOVE YOU MUM."_

"_GO AND DIE."_

_And I lived happily ever after. _


End file.
